When I was pregnant I was active on a pregnancy board with other ladies due the same time as me. I visit the board occassionally and keep up with some of them who have blogs.
I see the pictures of their babies and how cute they are. It doesn’t bother me to see the pictures, because I am truly happy that they have healthy little babies to hold and love. I’m happy they got to take their babies home. But at times it hits me that the pictures of Dekar that I have are the ONLY ones I will EVER have. He will forever be that little infant…..it’s like part of my life is fragmented off because as my other children grow older, Dekar will always remain an infant. It’s just weird.
Dekar would eight months, and I love that age. They really start taking on more of their own attitude and personality. They smile a lot. They are a bit easier to care for because they can sit well on their own and entertain themselves.
A few days ago I was sitting on the couch with my son, Mel (4 yo). I told him that we’d get to have ice cream soon for Dekar Day, and that Dekar would have been eight months old.
“If Dekar were alive he would be driving you a little crazy, Mel, because he’d be getting into all of your toys.”
“Yeah,” said Mel, “But he could play with them!”
“Yes, he could. And I bet he’d try to chew on you— and drool, too!” Mel’s eyes brightened up and he giggled after he thought about that for a while.
“But he could play with my toys, and that would be nice!”
Yes, it would. But, Dekar isn’t here to play with toys, chew on his brother, or drool on his clothes. I do notice that Mel’s eyes brighten up when we talk about Dekar. Although I am not sure any of my kids understand the importance of Dekar Day, I do hope that it becomes so ingrained in them that even when they are off to college, get married, and have kids of their own, they will pause on the 27th of each month and eat some ice-cream in honor of their brother who is forever an infant.
Rachel holding Dekar with Mel looking on.
babydekar.com 
5 comments
Comments feed for this article
September 18, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Table of Contents «
[…] Forever an infant–as my other children grow, Dekar remains forever an infant […]
March 27, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Danielle
I love that you started Dekar Day. I’m sure the kids will always reserve the 27th for him and ice cream! 🙂 Everytime I’m in the store and see ice cream, I think of him and smile. 🙂
March 27, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Christine Barrack
I will forever remember Dekar and your family. The 27th is Dekar day for your family, but know we celebrate it in his honor in our family.
I have faith that one day you will be reunited and that moment your eyes meet your hearts will once again be full.
March 4, 2009 at 8:31 am
Sarah
I thought about that this past Dekar Day… it makes me sad to think of it, but I am glad that you have a special day for him. Hugs to you Marge… Your pictures you do have are beautiful… forever to be treasured.
March 3, 2009 at 9:20 am
Erica
Hugs to you! I am so glad to hear you talk so openly with your 4 year old. We do the same. Our daughter misses her sister so much. She always mentions how she has a sister but she can’t play with her, and that makes her lonely…and she wishes she could hold her again and hug her. Kids just break my heart. I am so sorry for your loss and your pain. I am happy to hear you started a tradition, that I am sure your kids will take with them as they get older! Hugs Mama!